... cross the road ?

  • KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
  • PLATO: For the greater good.
  • ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
  • KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
  • MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Whocares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive therewas.
  • SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we werequite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
  • RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
  • RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, thechicken did NOT cross the road.
  • BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time.Never. (It was a boulevard).
  • HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy againstmy husband.
  • CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
  • HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
  • ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the roadwas threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was facedwith significant challenges to create and develop the competenciesrequired for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in apartnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken byrethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementationprocesses. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helpedthe chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital andexperiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology insupport of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analystsandbest chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in thetransportation industry to engagein a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personalknowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them tosynergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals ofdelivering and successfully architecting and implementing anenterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultrycross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting,enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategicallybased,industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unifiedmarket message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and corevalues. This was conducive towards thecreation of a total business integration solution.Andersen Consultinghelped the chicken change to become more successful.
  • TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment wouldallow.
  • LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. Thechicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep himdown.
  • MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens willbe free to cross roads without having their motives called intoquestion.
  • MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto thechicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,and there was much rejoicing.
  • FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How manymore chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
  • JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn'tanyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walkingaround all over the place, anyway?"
  • FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chickencrossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
  • BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, whichwill not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your importantdocuments,and balance your checkbook.
  • OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross theroad?"Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whomwe overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
  • DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturallyselected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to crossroads.
  • EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road movedbeneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
  • BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
  • RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ... ittranscended it.
  • ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
  • MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chickenobviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
  • COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

Gag transmis par Tatanne



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 October 24, 1999