A series of REAL notices spotted around the world
and written by... well let's just say "people whose first language is not English".

  • In a Tokyo Hotel
    Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
  • In a Bucharest hotel lobby
    The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
  • In a Leipzig elevator
    Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.
  • In a Belgrade hotel elevator
    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
  • In a Paris hotel elevator
    Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • In a hotel in Athens
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
  • In a Yugoslavian hotel
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
  • In a Japanese hotel
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery
    You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
  • In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers
    Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
  • On the menu of a Swiss restaurant
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
  • On the menu of a Polish hotel
    Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
  • Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop
    Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
  • In a Bangkok dry cleaners
    Drop your trousers here for best results.
  • Outside a Paris dress shop
    Dresses for street walking.
  • In a Rhodes tailor shop
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
  • From the Soviet Weekly
    There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
  • A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest
    It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different gender, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
  • In a Zurich hotel
    Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite gender in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
  • In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist
    Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
  • In a Rome laundry
    Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
  • In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency
    Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
  • In a Swiss mountain inn
    Special today -- no ice cream.
  • In a Copenhagen airline ticket office
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.
  • On the door of a Moscow hotel room
    If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
  • In a Norwegian cocktail lounge
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
  • In a Budapest zoo
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
  • In the office of a Roman doctor
    Specialist in women and other diseases.
  • In an Acapulco hotel
    The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
  • In a Tokyo shop
    Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
  • From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner
    Cooles and Heates
    If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
  • From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
  • Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance
    - English well speaking - Here speeching American.

Gag transmis par Tatanne



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Last modified:
 October 24, 1999